CTL_Webmaster
06-28-2007, 01:46 PM
Below is the article that sparked the whole debate, published in the June/July 2007 issue of CT&L.
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For this issue, Bob has agreed to forego his usual musings so he can answer readers' questions on a topic that's near and dear to his heart: the environment.
Dear Bob,
Why is the earth's environment so near and dear to your heart?
Anne Reedur
Because most of my friends and family live there.
Dear Bob,
Every magazine I subscribe to, from Vanity Fair to Dermatological Diseases Illustrated, has recently released a “green” issue. Why doesn’t CT&L do one, too?
Fester Boyle
Fester, every issue of CT&L is green (well, blue-green), because we report on the Caribbean, a region that relies almost totally on its natural beauty and healthy environment to attract visitors like us.
Bob,
I’m hearing a lot about serious environmental problems these days. None of these threaten the Caribbean, though, do they?
Babe N. Theewoods
No, not at all, unless you count pollution, deforestation, fisheries collapse, sea acidification and, oh yeah, coral die-offs, beach erosion, water shortages, extreme weather fluctuations and drowning islands caused by … global warming.
Sir,
Could it be that man-made global warming is the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people? It sure sounds like it.
Sen. James M. Inhofe, R-OK
With all due respect, senator, your continued use of garbage science (much of it funded, like your campaigns, by oil, gas and power companies) to delay action on global warming makes you a Butt Ostrich, which is sort of like a regular ostrich except that instead of sticking its head in the ground when there’s a problem, a Butt Ostrich sticks it someplace else. The world’s best climate scientists using the latest peer-reviewed studies have reached the conclusion that global warming is here, and the U.S. government -- aside from the odd, cranially-anal freakazoid-fowl lawmaker -- has accepted it.
Bobby,
Did I just hear you insult a U.S. senator? Just because that poor man has his head inserted into his rear end is no reason to be rude.
Bob's Mom
Sorry, Mom.
Dear media elitist liberal tree-hugger,
You and your hippie friends are going to ruin the U.S. economy with your eco-nonsense.
Jack Birch
Actually, Jack, the position that global warming must be addressed now has been joined by such Birkenstock-wearing, fuzzy-panda-petting corporations as DuPont Chemical, Alcoa, Conoco, PG&E, Caterpillar, BP and General Electric (all part of the U.S. Climate Action Partnership). They couldn't give a hoot about spotted owls, but they do care about profits. "In our view," states the partnership, "the climate-change challenge will create more economic opportunities than risks for the U.S. economy."
Dear Bob,
What does tourism have to do with the environment?
Barbie Dreemhaus
It’s the world’s biggest industry and has major effects, Babs, both good and bad, especially on small islands. When tourists come to the Caribbean, they want to stay in resorts right on that gorgeous beach, close to the reef with boats and docks and marinas nearby, which are all challenging to build without damaging fragile areas. Plus, tourists need transportation and massive amounts of food and water, and then they need to use the bathroom.
Yo Bob,
What's a guy s'posed to do about it? I don't build the hotels and stuff. I just wanna go take my family on a nice vacation and relax.
Joe Sithpack
Joe, thanks for sending along the picture of you lounging on a manatee-skin recliner on the balcony of the 6,000-square-foot, old-growth-floored "Because We Can" suite cooled by an air conditioner blowing through open doors as you rest up from golfing on a course built over the top of a bulldozed mangrove forest while you watch your kids buzz sea turtles on jet water craft and throw fishing line at pelicans. The simple truth is that tourists shape destinations by the consumer choices they make. For you, Joe, I suggest getting a backyard pool and staying home.
Bob,
Is the Caribbean doing anything about all this?
Name Withheld
Yes, Name, the Caribbean Alliance for Sustainable Tourism (CAST) reports that, as a region, the Caribbean leads the world in Green Globe certifications. Forty-seven hotels had achieved that status as of April 2007. Of the other 800 or so hotels, some have already realized that it’s better business to do things sustainably, whether they get certified or not. The others will begin to see more and more of their guests questioning how their sewage is treated, where their food is coming from, whether the landscaping and storm runoff is polluting the ocean and reefs, and how the resort relates to the local community.
Dear Guest,
We're doing our part to conserve water and energy. If you'd like to help us save the environment, please reuse your towels.
The Management
Great. Now, if we promise to reuse our towels, will you promise to wash those crusty bedspreads at least once a year?
-------------------------
For this issue, Bob has agreed to forego his usual musings so he can answer readers' questions on a topic that's near and dear to his heart: the environment.
Dear Bob,
Why is the earth's environment so near and dear to your heart?
Anne Reedur
Because most of my friends and family live there.
Dear Bob,
Every magazine I subscribe to, from Vanity Fair to Dermatological Diseases Illustrated, has recently released a “green” issue. Why doesn’t CT&L do one, too?
Fester Boyle
Fester, every issue of CT&L is green (well, blue-green), because we report on the Caribbean, a region that relies almost totally on its natural beauty and healthy environment to attract visitors like us.
Bob,
I’m hearing a lot about serious environmental problems these days. None of these threaten the Caribbean, though, do they?
Babe N. Theewoods
No, not at all, unless you count pollution, deforestation, fisheries collapse, sea acidification and, oh yeah, coral die-offs, beach erosion, water shortages, extreme weather fluctuations and drowning islands caused by … global warming.
Sir,
Could it be that man-made global warming is the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people? It sure sounds like it.
Sen. James M. Inhofe, R-OK
With all due respect, senator, your continued use of garbage science (much of it funded, like your campaigns, by oil, gas and power companies) to delay action on global warming makes you a Butt Ostrich, which is sort of like a regular ostrich except that instead of sticking its head in the ground when there’s a problem, a Butt Ostrich sticks it someplace else. The world’s best climate scientists using the latest peer-reviewed studies have reached the conclusion that global warming is here, and the U.S. government -- aside from the odd, cranially-anal freakazoid-fowl lawmaker -- has accepted it.
Bobby,
Did I just hear you insult a U.S. senator? Just because that poor man has his head inserted into his rear end is no reason to be rude.
Bob's Mom
Sorry, Mom.
Dear media elitist liberal tree-hugger,
You and your hippie friends are going to ruin the U.S. economy with your eco-nonsense.
Jack Birch
Actually, Jack, the position that global warming must be addressed now has been joined by such Birkenstock-wearing, fuzzy-panda-petting corporations as DuPont Chemical, Alcoa, Conoco, PG&E, Caterpillar, BP and General Electric (all part of the U.S. Climate Action Partnership). They couldn't give a hoot about spotted owls, but they do care about profits. "In our view," states the partnership, "the climate-change challenge will create more economic opportunities than risks for the U.S. economy."
Dear Bob,
What does tourism have to do with the environment?
Barbie Dreemhaus
It’s the world’s biggest industry and has major effects, Babs, both good and bad, especially on small islands. When tourists come to the Caribbean, they want to stay in resorts right on that gorgeous beach, close to the reef with boats and docks and marinas nearby, which are all challenging to build without damaging fragile areas. Plus, tourists need transportation and massive amounts of food and water, and then they need to use the bathroom.
Yo Bob,
What's a guy s'posed to do about it? I don't build the hotels and stuff. I just wanna go take my family on a nice vacation and relax.
Joe Sithpack
Joe, thanks for sending along the picture of you lounging on a manatee-skin recliner on the balcony of the 6,000-square-foot, old-growth-floored "Because We Can" suite cooled by an air conditioner blowing through open doors as you rest up from golfing on a course built over the top of a bulldozed mangrove forest while you watch your kids buzz sea turtles on jet water craft and throw fishing line at pelicans. The simple truth is that tourists shape destinations by the consumer choices they make. For you, Joe, I suggest getting a backyard pool and staying home.
Bob,
Is the Caribbean doing anything about all this?
Name Withheld
Yes, Name, the Caribbean Alliance for Sustainable Tourism (CAST) reports that, as a region, the Caribbean leads the world in Green Globe certifications. Forty-seven hotels had achieved that status as of April 2007. Of the other 800 or so hotels, some have already realized that it’s better business to do things sustainably, whether they get certified or not. The others will begin to see more and more of their guests questioning how their sewage is treated, where their food is coming from, whether the landscaping and storm runoff is polluting the ocean and reefs, and how the resort relates to the local community.
Dear Guest,
We're doing our part to conserve water and energy. If you'd like to help us save the environment, please reuse your towels.
The Management
Great. Now, if we promise to reuse our towels, will you promise to wash those crusty bedspreads at least once a year?